What is an Intensive Couples Therapy day like?

This is a multi-hour deep-dive experience of pure focus on the relationship. Besides working on conflict, we also spend time on delightful connection and deep-attunement exercises, all of which reawaken long-dormant feelings of fondness and admiration.

Single Day Option:
A one-day intensive session is appropriate for couples seeking preventive care, couples with a solid relationship that have some minor issues to work out, and couples interested in premarital preparation.

During the first half of the day, Suzanne delivers Feedback and Goal Setting based on your preparatory session with her, and starts providing intervention targeting your relationship's specific needs.  In the second half of the day, we solidify your understanding of the Sound Relationship House, and continue the work as indicated using research-based interventions to improve the levels of the Sound Relationship House which may be in need of attention.  This could include working on Love Maps, Fondness and Admiration, Turning Toward, Productive Conflict, Making Shared Dreams Come True and/or Creating Shared Meaning (see https://www.gottman.com/blog/building-a-sound-relationship-house/). At the conclusion of the day, you will be provided with suggestions for continued work at home, and integration sessions or follow up intensives are available.

Two- or Three-Consecutive Day Option:
A two- or three-day intensive is appropriate for couples whose relationship is weighed down by entrenched differences or painful communication patterns.

On the first day, we'll review the strengths and challenges of your relationship, set goals and dialogue using a modality that eradicates flooding (flooding leads to emotional escalation and/or premature withdrawal from conflict). We then continue the work as indicated using research-based interventions to improve whichever levels of the Sound Relationship House are in need of attention.  This will include continued and specialized work on levels you most need according to our formulated goals based on the assessment. As in the one-day option, these activities will be focused on Love Maps, Fondness and Admiration, Turning Toward, Productive Conflict, Making Shared Dreams Come True and/or Creating Shared Meaning (see https://www.gottman.com/blog/building-a-sound-relationship-house/). 

Managing Flooding, or Diffuse Physiological Arousal

Couples who experience diffuse physiological arousal during conflict may benefit from biofeedback technology including pulse oximeters, emWave biofeedback device, Thera-tappers and Love Lab software. Suzanne has been a proponent for a long time of the use of non-invasive physiological sensors that can detect diffuse physiological arousal (DPA) during a conflict discussion. DPA predicts breakup and divorce. During conflict, one or both people in the couple can experience an elevation in heart rate triggering a release of adrenaline into the blood stream, creating a sense of panic, bringing about “fight, flight or freeze.” It is during these times that “The Four Horsemen of the Apocalypse in Marriage” (a phrase coined by Dr. Gottman) emerge most often: criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling. When we experience DPA, or flooding, we are not often conscious of it. Technology can help us to be more physiologically aware of, and compassionate toward, ourselves and our partner. And this leads to much, much more evolved dialogue in session.

Possible Liabilities of this Model

Despite the “nuts and bolts” approach of this method, Intensive Couples Therapy format may move you more quickly and intensely into the areas of difficulty to be addressed. Therefore, you and/or your partner may experience uncomfortable feelings like sadness, guilt, anxiety, anger, loneliness, and helplessness. Your therapy may also involve recalling unpleasant aspects of your history together and/or individually.

Upon completion of the therapy, Suzanne may recommend that your intensive session be followed by couples therapy conducted in your home locale if you live out of state. In some cases, coordination between your home locale therapist and CloserCouples may be advisable. Your therapist will have you both sign a Release of Information form to allow for this exchange if further treatment is needed.